I will not apologize...

As I was doing a quick scroll of my Facebook feed this morning, I came across a post that said, "There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful than a woman being unapologetically herself." The post went on to ask what was one thing that I wouldn't apologize for. For some this may have required a bit of thought, a deeper contemplation of what their life currently looked like, and what they were unwilling to compromise on. But for me, my answer came as swiftly as my choice to jump into this business I now run.

"I will not apologize for being passionate about being a voice for women living in extreme poverty and escaping sex trafficking." 

However, this question did cause me to pause and reflect on the depth of that passion, what I have learned in the past two years, and a whole host of other thoughts that swirled around inside my head. I realized that my life changed drastically back in March of 2018. Sometimes I feel like its barely recognizable. Just two short years ago, I was a mom with 5 kids that were all under 11 years old. My days were filled with feeding, educating, and caring for these little ones 24/7. This was my life. My happy little world that I was content to live within with no cares outside of my growing family. I rarely gave thought to the plight of women and children around the world and was blissful in my ignorance. Then through a series of seemingly unrelated paths, God led me to a group of people who live their life passionately for the plight of those less fortunate and work tirelessly to fight the injustices that cover our globe. These women (and a few men!) live with their eyes wide open to the horrors of the world and have bravely said, "Not on my watch! I will not stand by silently and allow apathy to allow inaction." It was because of their declarations to do SOMETHING and their follow through to pursue something beyond themselves that gave me the encouragement to do the same and helped me to find my voice. Not a voice that will scream, "I am the way I am and you have to accept me because I'm unwilling to change." But a voice that says, "I will not be silent while HER voice is silenced. I will not keep silent because it makes you uncomfortable." We have lived a life of comfort, albeit a false facade, for far too long. We have to be willing to make ourselves and others uncomfortable to bring comfort to others. This is the GOSPEL at its very core.

"True spirituality that is pure in the eyes of our Father God is to make a difference in the lives of orphans, and widows in their troubles, and to refuse to be corrupted by the world's values." 
-James 1:27 TPT

Are you willing to be temporarily uncomfortable to help bring comfort to a stranger? It's not easy, it's definitely not comfortable, and it WILL cause you to grow and stretch beyond what you thought you were capable of. But maybe, just maybe, it will help to shape you into exactly the person you were created to be. If you feel like you're stumbling along your life's journey without passion and purpose, I challenge you to do something for others. Maybe that's educating yourself on the horrors of extreme poverty, slums, sweatshops, and sex trafficking. Maybe that looks like taking a step back from fast fashion and stepping into the world of fair trade. Maybe that looks like dipping your toe into the waters of being a voice by sharing the good work that others are doing on the front lines with your family and friends. Maybe that means being an unapologetic voice and screaming from the mountaintops, "I will not be silent and turn a blind eye any longer!" Where ever you are and where ever He is leading your heart, I invite you to take a step. Step out of your comfort zone and into your destiny. He's ready and willing to grab your hand and lead you straight into His heart. And I'll be here to hold your other hand and share what I have learned along my journey to laying my own life down for those less fortunate. It's a beautiful journey, a little rugged and less often taken, but a beautiful journey nonetheless. 

Follow me and my journey at the links below:

Facebook: bit.ly/OurCollectiveHope

 Instagram: @our_collective_hope

So Will I

I did NOT write this. This is a song written by Hillsing United, but I read/heard it for the first time tonight.  Everything in this song speaks to me, inspires me, and stirs my soul in a way that I haven’t been moved in in a while. It’s like deep calling to deep. It ignites and awakens a place deep inside of me and emotions pour out in uninhibited and unexpected ways leaving me overwhelmed and undone by all that He is. When I’m overwhelmed by life He comes and overwhelms me with the simplicity and complexity of who He is. He is the Alpha and the Omega. The First and the Last. The Beginning and the End. And EVERYTHING in between. That means He is EVERYTHING that I need. For every situation. Every dream. Every failure. Every shortcoming. He’s the All Sufficient One. He is I AM.

If you’ve never heard of this song before let these words wash over you. Let the truth of them overwhelm your current circumstances. Let them undo every lie in your life. Let them stir new life into your soul. And let Him be the I Am for everything that you don’t even know that you need. Because He knows you and He is Faithful.

"God of creation
There at the start
Before the beginning of time
With no point of reference
You spoke to the dark
And fleshed out the wonder of light

And as You speak
A hundred billion galaxies are born
In the vapor of Your breath the planets form
If the stars were made to worship so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You’ve made
Every burning star
A signal fire of grace
If creation sings Your praises so will I

God of Your promise
You don’t speak in vain
No syllable empty or void
For once You have spoken
All nature and science
Follow the sound of Your voice

And as You speak
A hundred billion creatures catch Your breath
Evolving in pursuit of what You said
If it all reveals Your nature so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You say
Every painted sky
A canvas of Your grace
If creation still obeys You so will I
So will I
So will I

If the stars were made to worship so will I
If the mountains bow in reverence so will I
If the oceans roar Your greatness so will I
For if everything exists to lift You high so will I
If the wind goes where You send it so will I
If the rocks cry out in silence so will I
If the sum of all our praises still falls shy
Then we’ll sing again a hundred billion times

God of salvation
You chased down my heart
Through all of my failure and pride
On a hill You created
The light of the world
Abandoned in darkness to die

And as You speak
A hundred billion failures disappear
Where You lost Your life so I could find it here
If You left the grave behind You so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You’ve done
Every part designed in a work of art called love
If You gladly chose surrender so will I
I can see Your heart
Eight billion different ways
Every precious one
A child You died to save
If You gave Your life to love them so will I

Like You would again a hundred billion times
But what measure could amount to Your desire
You’re the One who never leaves the one behind"

The Importance of Dreaming

For years I have dreamed of making a difference in this world. For doing something beyond myself. Something big and meaningful and something I could never accomplish on my own. I read inspiring books and blogs about women who took risks and changed not only their world, but many lives around the globe. I was inspired. I was in awe. I yearned to make a difference. To really touch and affect other people. To make a tangible difference and make my mark on this world. 

I lost that dream. I began to believe that as a young stay-at-home, homeschooling mom to five kids that it just wasn’t my season. And being super introverted and indecisive that maybe it wasn’t in the cards for me at all. 

Then, one day I found out about a company called Trades of Hope and the mission that they have to make a tangible difference in women’s lives all over the world. And a little spark was ignited in my heart. A little voice in my head said, “This. This is something I can do with what I have where I’m at.” I don’t have to travel thousands of miles (although I would love to!!!) to have an impact on people on the other side of the world. All I have to do is invite people to buy better, to think about others outside of themselves, and to join me on this journey. 

I know my limitations as a salesperson, but I also know my level of passion that sometimes, quite frankly, overwhelms even me. And I made a choice to let my passion outweigh my fears. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that it’s been super easy and comfortable and that I haven’t had any doubts or lost faith in my ability to do this and make a real difference. But when I look back on the last 3.5 months and see that I have not only touched hundreds of artisans lives, but also donated over a dozen chicks to a family in Africa, provided a month’s worth of food to a child in Haiti, provided a waterwheel to a woman in India, donated 3 mama kits to impoverished pregnant women in Uganda and am thisclose to donating a bicycle to a girl in Cambodia. I am blown away by the way God has used me to change the world in the last 4 months. And for those who really know me know how much I have changed, grown, stretched, and stepped out of my comfort zone. All because my desire to live a life of significance and purpose is greater than my desire to stay comfortable. I am willing to become uncomfortable to make someone else’s life more comfortable. 

Because when you stop dreaming you lose hope. When you have no hope for the future you lose your joy. And when you have no joy for life, what do you have? This is the reality for so many women around the world. No dreams. No hope. No joy. So I’m on a mission to bring joy, restore hope, and ignite the ability to dream in others. I pray that each one of you finds that thing that you’re passionate about and allow yourself to dream about how you can change the world with those passions. And I challenge you to let the seemingly “impossible” inside of you spark and ignite someone else’s “impossible”. I believe in you! And I know your dreams can change the world! 

“I will bless you with a future filled with hope--a future of success, not of suffering.” 

-Jeremiah 29:11 CEV

Challenge Accepted

Sometimes God places desires and passions within you. Sometimes He gives you talents and gifts. Sometimes life gets busy. And sometimes someone comes along side you and reminds you of those things. Reminds you that things you do and say make a difference. That they touch people. That they change people. And then sometimes you’re reminded of why you do them. When passion and talents intersect there you will find purpose and destiny. Maybe it’s just a small part of it. Maybe there’s more. But that’s always at least one place your life will have meaning and bring you joy. Because if we aren’t here to reach and touch and affect other people then why are we here? So I challenge you. Get out of your comfort zone. Get out of your space. Get out of your self. Touch someone. Reach someone. Change a life. Maybe with just a word. Maybe with just an action. Maybe with something bigger. You never know where one choice and one step will take you. Take the step anyway. 

Where Do You Choose to Dwell?

After reading Psalm 23 I read Psalm 107 and I realized they both talked about us being in the shadow of death. But God revealed a difference in the two scriptures. Here is the following download. 

Psalm 107:10-16 talks about how there are those who live in darkness and the shadow of death because they have disobeyed and resisted God and rejected His guidance and direction. He allows their heart to be brought low through their toil and strife. But when they cry out to Him in their trouble He comes in and breaks their chains and brings them out of the darkness and shadow of death because of His lovingkindness. This gives me a new view of Psalms 23. It says that the Lord is my shepherd. He's who I look to to protect and provide for me. It says even though...EVEN THOUGH I walk through the VALLEY of the shadow of death. The deepest, darkest parts. He is with me! So despite the fact that I may walk through seasons of disobedience and resistance and have rejected His guidance and direction, He is still there. His Rod and His staff are still protecting me and keeping me going in the right direction. He prepares a table before me. He provides for me not only the physical food I need to stay nourished but also the spiritual food I need. He anoints my head with oil as they did the priests of God long ago. My calling as a priest is secure. He fills me to overflowing. He doesn't just give me enough to get by. He gives me more than enough that it flows out of me to those around me. Goodness and mercy follows me. Wherever I walk He is there with His lovingkindness and grace. And I have a hope and security knowing where I will spend eternity. So the thing I'm seeing is that if the Lord is your shepherd you'll only WALK through the shadow of death (Psalm 23:4), you won't DWELL there (Psalm 107:10). So I ask you, is He your shepherd? When you come to hard seasons, do you keep going and walk through them? Or do you tend to dwell there? If the Lord is our shepherd, we will dwell in the house of the Lord (Psalm 23:4) and not in the darkness and the shadow of death (Psalm 107:10). So when you hear the phrase, "don't dwell on it", don't dwell on it! Where you choose to dwell reveals who your shepherd is. Where do you choose to dwell? Let Psalm 23:6 be a declaration! I WILL dwell in the house of the Lord forever!

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." 

-1 Peter 2:9

For Our Nine Year Anniversary

To Troy Cowan, the one who stole my heart then and continues to steal it today.

You've laughed at me...when I told a joke that no one else got.

You've told me no...to protect me, sometimes from myself.

You've watched me throw up over and over again...because you blessed me with a life growing inside my womb.

At times, you've just stood there...and was my rock during our home birth.

You've yelled at me...when the kids were so loud we couldn't hear ourselves think.

I've watched you leave...to go to a job you hated so you could provide for us.

You've woke me up every morning...to tell me goodbye, kiss me, and pray for me.

You've watched me cry...and held me close when I've had enough and my heart was breaking.

You've even made me cry...with sweet declarations of your love.

And you've rushed me...back to a place of peace when I thought all hope was gone.

And so I thank you for all the times you've laughed at me, told me no, watched me throw up, just stood there, yelled at me, left me, woke me up, watched me cry, made me cry and rushed me. For those are the times I really needed you and you've shown me what you're made of...

fun

protection

sympathy

strength

patience

endurance

love

compassion

adoration

hope

Nine is the number of choice, so for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part, as long as we both shall live...I DO...choose you. Everyday, over and over again, forever and ever! 

Happy Anniversary Honey, I love you.

On Giving Birth Naturally & Other Things

Because of the invitation the Lord extended, our courage to say 'yes', our faith in His ability to keep us, and His grace and strength to see us through, I was able to accomplish something I never thought possible. Give. Birth. Naturally. And in MY home no less! With God ALL things are possible. And I can't wait to see what He has planned for us!


Things I learned:

1. The Lord extends invitations to us everyday. Some days they're big. Some days they're small. But they all lead us to intimacy with the Father and His will done for our lives.

2. We have to have the courage to say 'yes'. God wants to use you to accomplish great and mighty things, but He can't do it without your yes. You have free will, but what amazing things will you miss out on if you say no??

3. You have to trust that He will keep you. Don't back down when things don't go exactly the way everybody thinks they should. God loves you and will keep you! Take a risk for Him!

4. He will give you grace and strength to see it through to completion if you stand fast in Him. If He brings you to it, He will see you through it.

Now, what is it that God has invited you to do??